My Week:

So I just feel like Ranting about all thing things that are going on. So you all know as it relates. I’m not looking for pity just ranting.

So When did it start Ah yes…

So I visited my grandma and noticed the her cat was looking sickly so I offered to take care of her from now on. And I did it’s been a good week with the sweet little kitty. But she had been lethargic and making messes which I expected.

Friday I had a scare at work as the producer was thinking of scrapping us all and getting a new crew that works for less. But our director defended us by telling him that we would get even more behind schedule. Which it would! It made me mad that he felt we were disposable! But now he’s a nice guy again. Really its very surreal. Fortunately for me this is just a glorified summer job or I would have been more scared. The only reason I stay is because I’m good friends with all the people there and I will miss them.

Oh did I mention I had the last straw with the camero? Yes I had been borrowing cars for the past two weeks. But that night (Friday) I got a new car! Yea *dances around* Borrowed money from a numer of family members and ended up buying the $1750 95 Nissan Altima with cash down to 8 dollars in coins. The guy I got it from was nice.

On the one hand awesome to have a car that runs and looks nice on the other hand I was moody with dramas. But I went home pet the cat and was happy.

So Saturday I discovered a number of finatial red flags won’t even go into that.
I got three new keys for my car pulled out side of my house. Got out of the car was negligent because I was frustrated about other things at the time and the door closes and I always lock the door. All of my car keys were locked in! But fortunately God is good and the door didn’t close all the way and just by was a coat hanger bent already. So after a frustrating hour with the help of clever determination and a neighbor’s plier I got it open! Yeah!

So I stride proudly into the house. Pet my kitty and waste the rest of the day being stupid in a bad mood. And I started to notice the cat was doing worse…

Sunday church was awesome. Had the air conditioning on at full blast cause I could now. Came home decided to go hang at B&N with Kristy, we got there and she noticed a strange sound from my new car. And it was leaking coolant. So I pored more in and carefully drove back home. My dad came strait there from Whittier and I spent the rest of the evening poking at the car with him until he left at 11:30. Wasn’t the hose so we think it is the water pump, Then I spent the next two hours dealing with other red flags.

At this point I know that there was a serious problem with the cat. She was barely moving. So I found a cat specialist nearby and made plans to take her there when they open at 7 am. Kristia was nice enough to offer to get up early and come with me.

So we get up, the cats looking really bad we put her in a carriage and go. We get there right as they open the nurse there was stressing major cause three people weren’t there. She delt with the people before us and when she looked at my cat she was alarmed and put her strait on oxygen in back! So we sat there me and kristy. My stomach was in knots.
Other people came in it was interesting to see the other cat lovers here some stories very bitter sweet. Then another woman came in with a dying kitten all in tears. That cat was put on life support as well. We sat there in awkward silence after kristy went to get coffee.

The vet came rushing in at 8 after having made a house call. She looked after the kitten first cause she had and appointment. The nurse had me go into another room to wait to talk to the vet. After awhile the vet came in a said that there was nothing she could do. Kidney Failure among other things… I agreed that the only thing was to make a painless out for her. I called my grandma and told her. She took it rather well. My dad started ranting about the car and I asked him if we could talk about it later. Love him but the vet is right men don’t often understand emotions or try and avoid them…

So Kristy came back I signed the release. I was glad she was there… Calico was lying on the table barely conscious. I gave her a kiss crying. I petted her as the vet injected her so she would go to sleep first.
Then she euthanized her and she was gone…I was glad that I could be the last person she knew….
…..

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Yeah Monday sucked. I went to the DMV after forcing my tears away then went to work at 11. I was not into it. I got my work to do and told them I need to deal with stuff so I went home. I got there I was so tired and I just lay on my bed… I tried to work but I really was not that productive. I dealt with more red lights.

Melinda came home and I told her and ochien about the cat. I wasn’t emotional at that point. But I was getting a lot of hugs that day that I had a hard time accepting…

Then we got to the fact that the gas was off. A mistake on melidas part but on us as well. 4th of july confused things. So I planned how we were going to get the fixed…
I cleaned all of the kitties stuff and put it in a big pile in the middle of the floor not knowing what to do with it after that….

The next day I was also slow at work. I ended up getting away with some of my not working on Monday because we had to do a lot of cleaning and posting up of stuff and such so I didn’t have to work that much…

That night I noticed my check finally went through and I hadn’t really eated much so me and Kristy went to eat a good meal at freshworks. I picked up some much needed groceries and we went back home.

We got out of the car and there was a cat nearby. I didn’t want to scare it so I was just going to walk to my house but Kristy ended up petting it so I thought ok…was still sad though…The cat was really sweet. I got up and started going back to my apartment. Kristy picked it up but it squirmed put of her arms and I looked back and the cat was following me! I said do you want food? And the cat caught up with me and came up to the apartment. She was all skittish but I fed her and she was ravenous. After she finished she wandered around the apartment all curious. She was pretty healthy and she had no collar. She ended up making herself comfortable. I took a cold shower (no gas) and got into bed. The calico woke me up in the middle of the night purring and kneeding. It was so sweet she slept beside me then went and slept with kristy. The sweetest cat!

I so I get up all tired and head out to work and there is another calico. I say hey are you hungry? And she rushes after me. I let her in and feed her. She is ravenous. She is obviously part of the same litter as Koshi (short for Koshimoyo meaning checkered) the first cat. They hiss and be angry but I have to go.

Kristy says later that they are getting along ok though. Today was sooooo long. Couldn’t concentrate so much stuff on my mind good and bad…
So I trade cars again so that he can take it to get fixed at a better place than is near myhouse. I get home get out of the car and my rinf fingure on my right hand gets jammed and I pull it out. Blood was streaming down my hand from a split in the nail! AHHH! Is I slip in and rinse it off right away. And bandage it with anti biotic. I hope It will heal alright. Sighs. Its hard for me to type now… I hope I can draw tomorrow…

Koshi is hiding under the bed Kyoko (the newer cat) is out. Apparently Koshi doesn’t like being around other cats.

I will see of people put up signs for them. But if not I will have to give Kyoko to a rescue and plus she is pregnant glad to help her but Two cats is too much. Koshi however has my love so I hope I can take care of her. We’ll see what happenes. Its all so crazy. They are both really pretty and sweet. Both calicos!

And the FFC site is back down… complications with transferring the domains…I just can’t take it anymore I can’t maintain it anymore…sighs…

So Yeah….man …right now both good feelings make me feel really neutral and blah…don’t know how to feel….

Along with all of this I have been in a transcendental crisis of sorts…don’t know what to think about it right now….Sighs…

So yeah…crazy…..

It’s amazing how much time you have when you can’t sleep.

Sleepless nights puzzle me. You’re dead tired. But your brain doesn’t let you sleep. I’m not sure what kept me up. I suppose repressed stress.

Going crazy. Pushing harder and harder…yet I am still behind. If only I didn’t crash on the weekends. I suppose it’s understandable. I work hard…but I still am not Turing stuff in that I should. I know I bit a lot off. But I love everything I have to do… But the disappointment of not getting it done, I feel that my time isn’t as efficient as I know it should be. This drives me crazy. So I suppose a sleepless night do to all this stress. And tonight I will have to stay up late finishing another project. 0.0 I hope I can.

I feel so torn between so many pressures. I don’t really live for myself…but who does. I’m not hating where I am at. I accept it. It’s just a weird, tough, sucky situation. And Whats worse I seem to be in a drawing slump… worse than I’ve ever been. A phase I am sure but intensely frustrating all the same! And I want to board and do well at it. It’s what I want to get a job doing and the class I’m doing worst in is storyboarding class. SO FRUSTERATING! All because I am having trouble drawing.

So I will have to go to my teachers and apologize for being behind yet again.

On the plus side, and one of the reasons I am behind, is the fact that I have am near finished boarding my film. So close. Maybe I should just go finish now…nothing else to do. Hmmm… Good show.

It’s long but at least I have the shots figured out and I know what I want to do with it. All I know is I’m going to keep pressing forward like I am.

Man this semester has been the busiest couple months that I have ever experienced. At least once to twice a week I stay up all night plowing through my work. Of course I would get a bit more sleep if I didn’t allow my self to get so distracted during the day. Then 10 pm rolls around and I’m like “CRAPPP!!! Got to get that done!”

Frustrated with myself…yet understanding. Well at least currently… There are days when I can’t look at myself without feeling deep disappointment. Those days I crash and get behind… Not logical but present and true none the less.

The tough part is though I see people around a lot I am very much a hermit. And I don’t see a lot of my close friends too much… Well I do…But what I miss the most is those moments when we can dwell on God together and build ourselves up. … I feel very alone in that sense, something that I am sure most people don’t understand.

Really now I am quite emotionless. I feel emotion very rarely… When I do feel it just seems to betray me. To give me false hope or drag me down from getting things done. I wish I had the luxury to dwell in my feelings. A luxury I can’t seem to afford. Or perhaps I am just not doing it right…. Now I am sounding pessimistic. Sighs…
I guess this is just a season. I look forward to a season of understanding my feelings and being able to press on in a better way.

Well here’s to life ,which is in fact a wonderful thing. And despite it all I am glad God put me on this planet.

-RAzi

I was sitting on top of a small mountain. Either side of me was a decent drop. It was quite dark and quiet. The lights of the city sat behind the hills way ahead of me. Far off the timy lights of cars making their way up to the top of another one of these mountains. Perhapse some ritual. But it was totaly detached from my little spot.

I looked up and looked at all the stars wish at that point that I know the constelations. Though I knew none of the planets were out. Or the moon for that matter.

I was not too cold dispite the high winds around me. Ben, who was sitting to my back wasn't terrably cold either. And Vin who was at his side was benifiting from the arangement was doing well too.

The loud animation realtated chatter of Shawn, Mingkue an Jihun assured us that they were also just fine dispite their complaints of the cold. We all had blankets.

I saw a few fine shooting stars. Though my postion prevented me from seeing the ones the other saw which were aparently bright and slow. So I ended up turing around so we all were sitting in a line on the ridge.

Another one of the dim lights where appearing on another mountain top. I assumed it was just another car. Yet it got bigger and bigger fast then I realized that it was the moon rising with it's horns up. It happened fast and the stars again had their guardian.

This week has been great. All my classes are exactly what I need and all challanging and exciting. So I'm looking forward to do the work, Though it's hard.

So Last night I was in my cube attempting to be productive.  But I ended up just getting distracted all day.

Then in the evening everyone including And alumi friend, Ben, were wanting to go to beach. I thought it was crazt considering it was at that point 11 pm. Then I got an insparation and I asked Ben if he knew anywhere up in the mountains.

Ok so this year is by far the best birthday I’ve ever had. I was totally blown away by the love my friends showed me. ^-^

So I woke up at 9:30 to be greeted by Andrea who made me an IHOP style breakfast. Much yums. I spent the morning in the sun reading my bible. I still have a sunburn to prove it but it was worth it, such a nice day. I proceeded to spend my day talking to everyone on the phone. (minutes …heh)

I ate lunch with all my animation buddies in front of the Lodge. Simon made me blow out ghetto candles stuck in cookies (match stixs.)

After that I didn’t see many of my friends and I was wondering where they got too…heh. Simon asked if was cool if we all went for dinner at 10. So I sat anxiously through class waiting for it to end.

Then having invited Kristina to go with we went to hop into the van which to my surprise was decorated with balloons and streamers. =) The ride was indicated with those little party guns that shoot confetti.

We ended up at a 24 Korean restaurant called Hodori in LA. And most of my friends where there!


Along with tons of fun toys and things we had these awesome Action man Extreme hats.


And great Korean food:


Happy happy


Hey look REAL candles.


Smiles…


And then Jihuen The girl above put frosting all over my face and everyone was laughing at me. (all in the name of good fun though) Especially Simon. So I got him back.


Afterwards they took me to this really nice karaoke joint in k-town.


It was fun though I can’t sing….heh. Jihuen and Vin were really good as was Yohone. So much fun! I’ve never done it before.



We got back around 5 in the morning in time to see the sun start to rise.


THANK YOU ALL sooooo MUCH!
I Love YOU GUYS!

-RAzi

ps:
Click the FOx to see more images of the party:

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Lone Reached the top of the stairs and gazed at an old cabin that looked like it was comfortably inhabited. She stepped forward and almost with out realizing it caught sight of the old man sitting on the porch. He greeted her and asked her what brought her hear.

She said after a moment that she was lost. In response he gazed at her searchingly and said. “You’re going to the City of champions?”
“Yes…how..”
“Well you need to get going faster or you’ll never make it.”
“But I don’t know my way.”
“Only you can find your whole way but here..”
And he handed her a piece of a map torn but one that showed the immediate area.
“You better get going fast.”

He turned back to his reading ignoring her completely. She stepped back down the stairs in an awkward silence with an eye back on the man. She turned ahead and as she followed a new path away she heard. “I’ll see you next week.” She would have argued the nonsense but felt that that would be ok. And so she pointed her direction according to the map and went down the hill. With the man in the back of her mind.

The Map was clear but it seemed that the area didn’t quite match up. The traveler felt though, that she should try and follow it all the same. And soon she found a path and a few steps down it she could clearly hear voices again.

Through the trees leaving the path she just found she came across a group a people. The friends she had seen just the week before. She went with them down to a nearby down that was currently having an art show. The day was well gone before sleep started to creep up on her. And at that point she realized how far behind she must be. The man’s words ringing in her mind. “get going faster.” Leaving her friends with guilt ringing in her chest she hardly could sleep. She promised herself that she would do the best she could the next day.

It was a rainy morning when she woke up in the inn bed. The course she left the previous day was dim in her mind. She could hardly get up having been spoiled buy the soft bed. But after she came to her senses she was out quite quickly.

She stopped to eat breakfast and ended up talking with the locals. She shouldn’t have but she brought up the old man and was quickly told by one of them that he was crazy and would screw her over. For a moment she was tempted to believe him. And indeed she did get a weird vibe from the man. But a part of her was telling her that it was ok. So she resorted to sticking to the map.

And it led her well through the day. She made great time, partly driven by the desire to prove herself right. But soon she reached the edge of where the map showed and had to once again continue into the unknown.


Whak! A sideswipe and Lone finds herself thrown hard to the ground. Wind knocked out of her she looks up to see who it was. Her vision slightly blurred she sees the figures of a few people and hears the name Bala before receiving another blow.

-Razi


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Look at my fancy Hologram!



Pitty I can’t capture the 3d in a snap but you can kind of see what this hologram looks like.

The flash made it blue and I photoshoped the background blacker so it would stand out. But yeah this is pretty much what it looks like.

Only imagine that when you turn it around you can see the object floating in space perspective depth and all. Go holography.

9 sec shot with a laser onto a holographic plate.
The objects are different necklaces etc.

-Razi


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